How We Started Counseling Couples

Tria and I were married in 2007 and we had an immediate blended family of 5 as we were both single parents. Tria was also taking care of her grandmother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s. By God’s grace we came to a saving knowledge and faith in Christ within the first 6-8 months of our marriage. But starting our lives as new believers together came with its set of challenges. Not only did we have all the difficulties of being a blended family, but we also had to figure out career choices, marriage roles, consideration of homeschooling, elderly care, financial hardships, housing crisis, and a developing understanding of our sinfulness.

How It All Began

Our journey into counseling began with dealing with our own set of challenges and circumstances. When we first got saved, the Lord was faithful in surrounding us with loving mature believers. We quickly plugged into the church and sought the wisdom and encouragement of our church leaders, friends, other couples, and biblical counselors. As the Lord worked in our hearts to uproot sin through sanctification, we slowly began to learn how to work through our challenges.

A few years into our marriage we had added 3 more children to our family. Having 6 kids provided Tria with many opportunities to meet other mothers, allowing us to build relationships with different families. Due to the desire to seek out counsel and grow in our marriage and Christian walks, we were pretty open about our struggles. The transparency and openness of our trials with friends and other couples, often opened the door for conversation about issues they were also having themselves. It was during this time we truly learned how to walk through life alongside others within the church body.

Take Every Opportunity to Get Equipped

By the grace of God, we attended churches that were doctrinally strong and very healthy. Becoming members of the church was our first step to getting plugged in. This was how we were able to develop our understanding of discipleship and ecclesiology. The church was very active and intentional in getting its members to plug in and serve where needs existed. Although we did not yet have a clear theological understanding of things, we saw the importance of serving the church body through the example of the leaders and other church members. Making ourselves open and available to be taught and to be used by the Lord in any way possible, would help us grow in our love for the church.

There were many opportunities to learn and get trained up. Although I did not take my walk as seriously as I should have during our early years, we had plenty of exposure to God’s word in various ways. Sunday quickly became the Lord’s Day as we committed to going to church consistently. We also attended Sunday School before service, then came back later in the day for evening service. Every week our family attended a growth group and the children had opportunities to attend kid’s ministry and youth group as well.

A culture of discipleship was also present. Men sharpened other men, and older men took on the responsibility of sharpening young men as well. Women encouraged other women as well as the teen girls, all caring for one another, and sharing one another’s burdens. This culture permeated throughout the church, encouraging the youth and even new members to seek out discipleship opportunities. This helped Tria and I develop opportunities to counsel couples as we began to get more involved in the lives of others.

We were also encouraged through a number of other opportunities to learn how to apply God’s word to our lives. Parenting conferences, marriage conferences, biblical counseling training, as well as conferences for men and women were regularly available to help us grow in our understanding of the challenges that come with living a Christian life - parenting young children and teenagers, marriage, as well as personal sanctification.

Areas We Have Been Able to Serve Couples In

If I’m to be completely honest, the heart for counseling others began with Tria and has slowly developed in my own heart over time. Early in our marriage, we made the decision to have Tria stay home and not work when the boys were young. This allowed her to homeschool our kids which opened the door for Tria to really get plugged in and connect with other women. Most of the church favored homeschooling which provided a rich opportunity for them to get together during the weekdays.

The doors that opened through Tria’s willingness to share with the ladies became the starting point for her interest in biblical counseling. Through honest, genuine conversions and being consistent with hospitality opportunities, the Lord has allowed us to minister to and encourage others in these specific areas:

• Marriage / Pre-Marital Counseling

• Hospitality

• Family Encouragement and Unity

• Homeschooling

• Finance and Budgeting

• Parenting

• Relationships / Conflict Resolution

• Caring for Elderly Family Members

• Scheduling and Planning

• Wayward Children

Not by our own strength or wisdom, but by God’s grace and being obedient to Him, we have been able to understand and apply God’s word in our lives...and in turn help others do the same.

Where We Are Now

After 17 years of marriage, Tria and I have truly been through a lot, and by God’s grace we have been able to learn and grow through every struggle and trial. This has allowed our faith and trust in the Lord to strengthen over the years. As we were loved and supported through our hard times, God created a desire to encourage and help others. By being honest and genuine in our relationships the Lord has helped us to learn how to connect and care for others well. Because of God’s love and patience within our lives, we have tried to love others better; by looking for opportunities to encourage and serve, by patiently listening and asking good questions when talking with someone, and being fully available and present when we interact with other couples and individuals.

We are confident that God’s word is sufficient to give us all that we need: guidance, encouragement, wisdom, correction, and hope. Because of this, we desire to love and care for others well by helping them grow in their understanding of God and important biblical principles that are clearly laid out in scripture. Tria and I are both currently pursuing bib lical counseling certification and hope to be better equipped to help the church body care for those who need spiritual support and biblical di 18 rection. More than anything we want to serve and love the Lord by serv ing and loving others better. We want our lives to honor God and want to be used by Him in any way He sees fit. “Lord, I’m all yours, and you are my Savior; I have sought to live my life pleasing to you.” - Psalms 119:94.