Hospitality: How We Use Our Home to Advance the Gospel
“For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you are also being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:19-22)
Why hospitality? We were once strangers and aliens to God, but through Christ’s sacrifice, we have been welcomed into the kingdom of God. Hospitality is about welcoming people. We believe that everything we have been given from God is to be used in his service, and our home is no exception. The church building is where we gather as believers on Sunday, but our home is where we gather throughout the week with our believing friends and family, in order to grow together into a “holy temple in the Lord,” or to build relationships with our unsaved friends and neighbors so that one day they may also be welcomed into the house hold of God too. Welcoming people into our home and lives is central to making disciples.
When the world talks about hospitality it centers on a spotless house, entertainment, perfect meals, themed parties, decorations, gifts, and ambiance. This is a very superficial interpretation! Christian hospitality is about welcoming people. It’s about reaching out and welcoming the stranger – the person who may be very different from you. It’s about loving people, not impressing people.
Being hospitable means you can’t take yourself too seriously – it’s about honoring the Lord and honoring your guests, not looking like a “good host or hostess.” If you are too concerned with your house being clean enough, big enough, or pretty enough, you will never be comfort able having people over (and the people you receive in your home may not feel comfortable either). Being vulnerable and sharing your imper fections (including your imperfect home), does more to build relationships than having a perfectly tidy and organized home. It tells people you are not perfect, and they don’t have to be perfect in order to be your friend. This is the heart of the gospel, that we are in fact not perfect. We have all fallen short of the glory of God. But God, being rich in mercy, has welcomed us to his family, “warts and all.” God has poured out his grace on us, and provided for us the perfect Savior. And it is because of Him, that we can overflow with His grace to others.
Being flexible on our part provides a space where spontaneous conversation can happen, where we don’t have to stop the conversation when the Lord is providing an opportunity to share the gospel with a neighbor or encourage a new family at church. This is why we have an open-door policy. Of course a schedule and a plan is helpful and prudent to implement. But, we don’t have to plan ahead for someone to come over and share a meal. We don’t need time to make things perfect to welcome people into our home. If you come to our house at dinnertime, we will happily feed you. This flexibility shows people that they are import ant to us – they are more important than our schedule, more important than our privacy, more important than our pride, and they are more important than our meal plan. This means making extra food or always having something in the fridge or freezer that can be made easily to feed a group. Sometimes the meal is hot dogs, sometimes it’s a long-smoked piece of meat. Being ready to share a meal means that conversations can continue, and relationships can grow.
Meals are a big part of hospitality. However, you don’t always have to provide a big meal in order to be hospitable. Sometimes it’s just coffee (there’s always coffee!) or dessert. Sharing a meal or sitting with a cup of coffee puts people at ease and sets the stage for good conversation. We want to know you. We want to share our lives with you. We want to encourage you in the Lord and be encouraged by you. We want you to receive the same mercy we have received from the Lord. We want to help you grow to be more like Christ, and we want the same from you.
This kind of lifestyle means a bigger grocery budget, which may mean shaving another budget category down, making different grocery shopping choices, or going without something else. We have never regretted making hospitality a priority in our spending. The Lord has blessed us much more in the relationships God has given us than any thing we could have bought. This also means that inviting someone into our home does not depend on how clean the house is, if a particular home improvement project is finished, or if it is decorated and show-ready. It means that no material thing we have is more important than the image-bearers who come into our home. Stuff breaks and that’s ok. Stuff spills and that’s ok. We all look forward to being in our own homes, where we can relax and be ourselves. We want you to feel the same way in our home – you can relax and be yourself. The point is that we are sharing our lives, with the goal of becoming more like Christ.
There is something deeper about meeting in a home than only sharing fellowship in the church building. It’s not always easy to share struggles in a crowd. We are called to bear one another’s burdens - to weep with those who weep, and to rejoice with those who rejoice. Our goal is for our home to be a safe place for people to share their deepest struggles and a place that is ready to celebrate victories.
Our intent in opening up our home is also to provide a comfortable place where people can connect and grow deeper in relationship with each other. One of our greatest joys when we are having a gathering at our home is to see two people or families who were not previously connected have a conversation and get to know each other. This is why, when we have a new family from church over, we try to have at least one other family over so that they can build connections within the church. We are a church family, one body with many parts, but sometimes one part doesn’t really know another part. We try to foster relationship-build ing throughout the church family so that we can grow together in the unity of the Holy Spirit. The relaxed nature of gathering in a home is a great way to start getting to know one another.
Hospitality is a family commitment. We teach our kids to look for the new kids at church or in the neighborhood and be their friends. When other kids are in our house, we teach them to try to defer to what others want to play. We teach them that being shy is not an excuse – no matter how awkward they feel, someone else feels just as awkward and wishes the other person would be the first one to speak. Be the first one to introduce yourself. Sometimes the interaction will be awkward, and sometimes you will be weird (trust us, we know). Learn to laugh at yourself and love people anyway. We also teach them that we are a team preparing the house for a gathering and cleaning up afterward. We work together because this is worth it. After all, God has cleaned up our mess.
There are some practical things to do to make your home ready to invite. Disposable dishes and utensils make it so more time and energy can be spent on meaningful conversation and less time and energy cleaning up. Plan for meals that are easy to prepare for a large group. For example, we often have several pounds of pork shoulder in the freezer – you can do many things with a pork shoulder and it is usually a cheaper cut of meat and delicious in tacos, pulled pork sandwiches, over rice, etc. We also have a few go-to recipes for people with food allergies. Another note, when someone asks if they can bring something, say yes! Remember, we are not trying to impress by doing everything and entertaining people. We are a family, which means that sharing goes both ways.
We love because God first loved us. We welcome others into our home because God welcomed us when we were strangers and aliens. We share our home out of the overflow of God’s grace in our lives. It is that grace that empowers us and can empower you to show hospitality to those the Lord places in your path.