It Takes a Church: Raising Your Kids in the Church
One of God’s greatest gifts to parents and to their children is the local church. God designed the church to be one of the pri- mary ways each member of your family understands the truth of God and His Word, grows in the context of a loving community, and receives necessary exhortation and encouragement to re- main faithful to your gospel calling.
Dads and Moms, God has given you the church as an essential part of your exhausting, rewarding, confounding, exhilarating, discouraging, and joyful parenting journey! Don’t ever let busy schedules, competing priorities, individualistic tendencies, or sinful hearts lead you away from your church family and the wisdom and protection it provides. Rather, make the church a top priority! You need it and so do your kids!
Here are four practical ways for you to lead your family in prioritizing the local church.
Set an Example of Loving the Church
How can you set an example for your children of loving the church? Start by showing up whenever possible and participat- ing enthusiastically. Your kids will be able to tell if you genuinely love the church as they watch you listen to the Word and sing with, fellowship with, pray with, and just be with God’s people. Go ahead and embarrass them by issuing a heartfelt “Amen,” singing too loudly, hugging liberally, weeping unashamedly, and staying too long afterwards.
During the week in your home, lead your family in frequent discussions about the church. One question I like to ask in our home is, “What was something encouraging from church to- day?” Answers range from truth shared in the sermon, a specific song we sang, a good conversation before or after the service, a new visitor, witnessing a baptism, or playing with friends! Let these types of conversations become a springboard to talk about God’s wisdom in designing the church and the beauty of His body in our local church. Regularly affirm the leadership and other members. Pray regularly through the membership direc- tory. And if criticism is ever warranted, be extra charitable and gracious in every respect.
Charles Spurgeon once referred to the church as “the dearest place on earth.” Step aside Disneyland! Is that the way you feel? Is that the way you behave? Your kids will know and are likely to follow your example.
Pursue Relationships With a Variety of People
In his wisdom, God designed the church to be filled with all types of people that don’t look like your family. This represents a wonderful opportunity to know and love folks of different back- grounds, ethnicities, political persuasions, ages, interests, and more. 1 Corinthians 12:22 says that we all need each other. So pursue these opportunities as a way to show God’s kindness to others and model Christian charity to your children.
One of the best ways to do this is hospitality. Invite people into your home to share time, food, and meaningful conversation. And rather than relegating the children to a separate room, con- sider how they can be part of serving your guests. When they’re young, this could be as simple as greeting them or helping set up. As they get older, seek to include them in the conversation and challenge them to think of and ask thoughtful questions. Seek to cultivate a sense of wonder and curiosity about the spe- cific individuals God has placed in your spiritual family.
Another way to encourage this type of thinking and behavior is to ask your family who they spent time with before and after the church service. It’s an ongoing reminder and challenge (for parents and children alike) to not settle for what’s comfortable and limit interaction to a small group of existing friends. Every individual at church has a story and every person needs encouragement and exhortation. Joyfully seek to minister to all sorts of different folks! God will use you to be a blessing and you and your family will be blessed as well.
Humbly Use Your Gifts to Serve the Body
God has gifted you and your family in unique ways. Model the joy of serving your church family by humbly and faithfully using those gifts. Teach your kids that every single person at church has an important role to play in the body of Christ. Whether your role is upfront or behind the scenes, let them see you serve as unto the Lord.
Additionally, teach them early on that serving the body of Christ is not just for adults or big kids. Everyone (even kids!) has an import job to do and a role to play. Find ways for them to serve. When they’re little, kindly interacting with adults and oth- er children is a good start. Many adults, especially those whose children are out of the home, are really encouraged by interact- ing with young people. As your kids get older, they may have op- portunities to help in Sunday school classes or other age-appro- priate ministries. In every stage, affirm their desire to use the gifts that God has given them as they understand and embrace the joy of ministering to others.
Ask for Help
This last point may be the most difficult. Parenting is hard. Kids are confounding. It’s tough to know what to do in many circumstances. Regular prayer needs to be our first response (James 1:5). But don’t forget about or neglect the wisdom that God provides through your church family. We’re all in this to- gether!
Partner with brothers and sisters. Humbly seek and receive wisdom. Ask for prayer and practical advice. Pursue account- ability and confess your sin to one another when appropriate. Let the gospel free you from keeping your need a secret or being defensive about your shortcomings or failures.
Just imagine the gift that this way of thinking and behaving would be to dads and moms (and children) in every stage of the parenting process. We’d be able to give and receive in a way that genuinely helps others, fosters unity in the body of Christ in spite of differences, and brings glory to God!
In conclusion, we want every family, every parent, and every child at Grace Rancho to experience the many benefits God de- signed the local church to provide. For the sake of your spiritual health, the glory of God, and the continuation of the gospel in the lives of your kids and grandkids, make the church central in your lives and parenting!
