15 Minutes in Conversation Can Save You 15 Years or More of Regret

15 minutes or less can really save you 15% or more on car insurance. With the prices of insurance going through the roof, you would be wise to take advantage of any kind of opportunity that would save you hundreds of dollars over the course of a couple of years. When it comes to saving on car insurance, we are willing to spend those 15 minutes on the phone. In fact, many of us will happily sit on the phone with our insurance company for hours until they lower our rate (I speak from experience). But when it comes to matters weightier than car insurance, we fail to see how a 15-minute conversation with a trusted believer could save us and our family from 15 years or more of future pain, suffering, headaches, and regret.

Imagine the following scenarios. The middle aged man, suffering repercussions from his financial carelessness at age 18. The discouraged wife who undermined advice given to her while dating and thought that her husband would eventually take his faith seriously. Or the hard working young man who did not know his career choice would take him away from any possibility of being involved in the local church for 40 years+.

Life is hard, and sometimes trial and suffering cannot be avoided. But what if we could talk with others before making big decisions that could cost years of unforeseen agony, heartbreak, financial burdens, headaches, and regret?

Hang on, I thought we believed in the sovereignty of God? I thought that everything happens for a reason and that nothing is out of God’s control? Yet Solomon himself says, “Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time?” (Ecc. 7:17). Solomon also says, "The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it”(Prov 22:3). Implication, do not suffer the consequences of something that could have been avoided altogether.

One of the constant refrains I hear from mature saints at Grace Rancho is something along the lines of, “I just wish I would have prioritized inviting people into my life in the early years of my conversion, it would have saved me from making a lot of decisions that resulted in pain, trial, and discontentment.” This teaches us two things. Young saints better learn from this and prioritize seeking out conversations now. Resist the temptation to not say anything out of fear that you will get shut down. On the flip side, older, more mature saints are to be seeking these young saints out and looking out for their futures. No one wants to be a dream crusher. But when you look at your own life, you wish you would have had a risk-taking individual who was looking out for you, and gently ensured that the decisions you were making did not bring with it unforeseen consequences.

Here are a few tips on how to counteract our tendency to not talk about our life decisions with others:

First, you have to start somewhere. If you have never cultivated a lifestyle of communication with other believers, you have to begin exercising this muscle with smaller weight. Begin by having a 5 minute conversation about how you plan to use your free time this summer. Listen to the input and suggestions given, and seek to implement them. Have a 5 minute conversation with a mature believer on the kind of music you listen to, the movies you enjoy, the time spent online, and your favorite hobbies. Spend 10 minutes asking a fellow Christian how they would advise you on buying your next vehicle, given your current finances. Begin by inviting people into your smaller / minor / everyday decisions. You will find that oftentimes, less than 5-10 minutes is enough time for you to get wise counsel on everyday matters.

Second, do your best to not isolate yourself during transitionary seasons of your life. Yes you will be busy, you will be excited, you might be stressed, but it is when we transition from one major life stage into another that we are most susceptible to acting independently from others. When you are choosing a college, choosing a career, beginning to date, getting married, having children, buying a house, deciding if both parents will work, choosing schooling for children, changing careers, moving to a different state or town, taking care of elderly parents - ensure that you are not making these massive decisions in isolation! Solomon says, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment”(Prov. 18:1). Having a simple 15 minute conversation with a trusted Chrisitian on these matters can really save you 15 years or more of disappointment and trial.

Lastly, go above and beyond. You do have to start somewhere. But as you continue to grow in this area, flex your conversation muscles by seeking out many counselors for major decisions in your life. Don’t be content to mention it to one person alone. Talk with as many people as you can. Get a variety of input. Remember that you often take time to talk to as many insurance brokers to ensure that you save those 50 extra bucks each month! Is not the flourishing of your life worth more than 50 bucks? Invest the time. Whether it be 15 minutes or an hour, intentional conversations are the safeguards that Christ has gifted us to maintain wise decision making. Hold fast to the wisdom of Scripture in your decision making, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety"(Prov. 11:14).